Early in the morning, i feel like im dying. Everyone leave me............ everyone including Kris. I feel like i dont want to go to work today, i call myungsoo and he said its okay. I walk into the bathroom and took a shower, after that i dress myself. I eat a toast and i go outside to take some breath of nature..........

I walking and walking, i dont know where am i going, i will just follow where my foot would stop...... and it is infront of junhyung grave......... i watch the grave and i started to cried.

"Why are you making things hard to me?"
"You said you love me?"
"Oppa wae?!"

He just wont reply to me, no matter how hard or long i talk to this stone, it just wont talk back........ It hurts so much.......

"I have enough of you....... you wont reply to what i said, so why should i bother too see you everyday?!"

I said those words and walk away from junhyung grave, suddenly my legs feel so heavy....... i know this is wrong

"Oppa im sorry. I dint mean it to said those words, it is just this day.......... things got so hard............jwesonghamninda... annyeong"

I want to leave, but then i saw Kris infront of someone grave.. Thats must be his parents grave. I want to go at Kris and explain everything.. but i saw this girl... she hugging kris and kris seems happy with her.... I cried....... again.......... this time i cried infront of junhyung grave because of kris but not because junhyung....

"Have a happy life Yifan........."

I leave the grave festival and i go to the nearest restaurant......... i order drinks and i saw kris entering this restaurant with that girl..... he saw me, but my eyes wont meet his, because it hurts me so much to see him smiling like that because of that girl, and not because me...... he sit infront of me..... i cant do this, i paid the drinks and leave...........

I walk and walk again, suddenly it is raining.


What can i do? It is raining, i ignore the rain and i walk. My tears started to fall......... I can stand of this world.......... Everyone gone..... leaving me alone here, helpless........ I sit at the bus station....... I cried and cried.....

"Otoke......"

I have enough of crying, after that i saw a bar. I go inside the bar and i saw alot of people dancing, drunked. I order a soju.......... i drink alot untill i got drunk. I drink again, i look like a crazy girl who lose her mom. Im crazy...... i lose everyone! suddenly i saw a guy..... he is tall he look like kris......... but i know thats not him........

Kris: Hana ah!
You: Huh?~ Who who a-are u??!~~
Kris: This is me! Kris! Why are being like this?!
You: Why im being like this?! This is all because of you!
Kris: Bwoh?
You: I lose my son.... and then my husband!~ now i lose yifan... *cries*
Kris: ..... hana-ah
You: He leave me....... he have a girlfriend now........
Kris: .......
You: I never saw him smiled like that *cries* i must be stupid for loving him...
Kris: You love him?
You: I loved wu yi fan...... but he seems not interstead to me~~
Kris: You are drunk hana ah.. let me bring you home! *grab hana hands*
You: Yah! let me goo~!! i dont know you!!
Kris: Im Kim Myung Soo! *lies*
You: Let me go u bastard! you killed my husband and yifan parents!!
Kris: *let go hana hands* Hana ah do you really care about me?
You: Who are you?
Kris: Yifan....
You: Liar..... you are myung- *faint*
Kris: Oh! Hana ah! Ya!! Wakeup!!
You: .........

Kris Pov

Hana faint, i must help her. I carried her behind my back and took her to my apartment.. I laid her down on my bed, she looks like she is dying. She look so helpless. She said she loved me? Did she really love me? And then how about myungsoo? Hana agree to be his girlfriend infront of me..... Hana ah..... dont you know how it hurts my heart seeing Myungsoo be yours? While im standing their like a stupid guy...... Hana ah.......... No matter how bad you look, how poor your life is....... No matter how stupid you are, I will always love you. Even thought you are not mine...... Please be safe for me........... Please dont be sick........... Please dont leave me like my parents leave me......... Hana ah i loved you more than everything............

-To be continue-  

Older Post | Newer Post